PolitiChicks Picks: The Hottest Conservative Supermen in America

July 8, 2013 at 5:00 am / by

About Ann-Marie Murrell

Ann-Marie Murrell is the original PolitiChick anchor and is the CEO/Editor-in-Chief of, which was nominated at CPAC 2013 as the “People’s Choice Blogger of the Year”. In 2013, Ann-Marie recei… More

With all the popular “hot conservative women” lists floating around the Internet (including this one from we figured turnabout’s fair play.  We are proud to announce a few lists of our own: “PolitiChicks Picks:  The Hottest Conservative Supermen in America“.

Judges for this year’s competition are:



PolitiChicks anchor & National Director/Editor-in-Chief and writer for TownHall Finance,  Ann-Marie Murrell


pc gina anchor, writer for TownHall Finance and WND & host of the Dr. Gina ShowDr. Gina Loudon


Morgan Brittany 26 anchor, writer for TownHall Finance, TV and movie star Morgan Brittany


Bev Z

Movie producer of Runaway SlaveHating Breitbart and Executive Producer of our studio shows, Beverly Zaslow





TPNN News Director, writer for TownHall Finance & frequent Fox News political commentator, Scottie Nell Hughes

Tabitha Hale


Managing editor of, writer for multiple major conservative sites & social media queen, Tabitha Hale

Of course because we’re women of substance, our list requirements are based on:

#1.  Intelligence.  These guys are brilliant.

#2.  Courage.  They aren’t afraid to stand up to challenges, speak the truth and fight for our country.

#3: Passion (See above)

#4:  Sense of humor.  Self-deprecating gets you extra points.

#5:  Looks.  This can be either conventionally handsome or someone who simply exudes sexiness.

We’ve broken it up into categories, followed by the “finale”, the Top 15 Overall Conservative Supermen in the Universe.

Top 15 Hottest Conservative Supermen in New Media:

1.  David Spady, Breitbart

2.  Javier Manjarres, The Shark Tank

3.  Jonah Goldberg, TownHall

4. Glenn Reynolds, Instapundit

5.  Steven Crowder,

6. Joseph Farah, WND

7.  Brandon Michael Darby, The Victory Sessions

8.  Robert Spencer, Jihad Watch

9. Mike Piccione, Daily Caller

10. Mike Opelka, Blaze

11.  Doug Giles, Clash Daily

12.  Larry O’Connor, Breitbart

13. Ben Howe, The Ben Howe Blog

14.  Guy Benson, TownHall

15.  Larry Solov, Breitbart

Honorable Mention: John Hawkins, Right Wing News, Joe “the Plumber” Wurzelbacher, Joe For America, Larry Greenfield, The Claremont Institute; Ryan Girdusky, TownHall; Daniel Greenfield, Front Page Magazine

Top 10 Hottest Conservative Supermen on TV (Network, Cable)

1.  Greg Gutfeld, Fox News

2.  Eric Bolling, Fox News

3.  Sean Hannity, Fox News

4.  Neil Cavuto, Fox News

5.  Tucker Carlson, Fox News

6.  Dan Springer, Fox News

7.  Shepherd Smith, Fox News

8.  James Patrick Riley, “Courage, New Hampshire”

9.  Rick Amato, The Rick Amato Show

10.  Mike Huckabee, Fox News

Honorable Mention: Nick Searcy, “Justified”; Griff Jenkins, Fox News; Charles V. Payne, Fox Business

Top 10 Hottest Conservative Supermen in the Political World  (Active, Retired or Future/Upcoming Candidates)

1.  Sen. Ted Cruz

2.  Lt. Col. Allen West

3.  Rep. Louis Gohmert

4.  Rep. Trey Gowdy

5.  Sen. Jim DeMint

6.  Dan Bongino

7. Assemblyman Tim Donnelly

8.  Gov. Rick Perry

9.  Rep. Steve King

10.  Sen. Rand Paul

Honorable Mention:  Jason SmithRep. Mike KellySen. Jeff SessionsRep. Sean Duffy

Top 10 Hottest Conservative Supermen in Web Shows/Videos

 1.  AlfonZo Rachel, Zo Nation

2.  Bill Whittle, The Virtual President

3.  Andrew Klavan, Klavan on the Culture

4.  Glenn Beck, TheBlazeTV

5.  Stephen Green, Trifecta

6.  Scott Ott, Trifecta

7.  Molotov Mitchell, WND TV

8.  Jamie Glazov, The Glazov Gang

9.  Andrew Wilkow, Wilkow!

10.  Erick Stackelbeck, CBN News

Honorable Mention: Nick Searcy, Acting School w/Nick SearcyJoe Dan Gorman, Intellectual Froglegs; Stephen Kruiser, Kruiser Control

Top 14 Hottest Conservative Supermen Authors 

1.  Mark Levin

2.  Thomas Sowell

3.  Andrew C. McCarthy

4.  Eric Metaxas

5.  Mark Steyn

6.  Glenn Beck

7.  Benjamin Shapiro

8.  Evan Sayet

9. Michael Walsh

10. Brian Sussman

11. John Lott

12.  David Horowitz

13.  Dennis Prager

14. Dr. Dathan Paterno

Honorable Mention: Jamie GlazovChris SkatesKCarl SmithNick Adams

Top 10 Hottest Conservative Supermen in Radio 

1.  Rush Limbaugh

2.  Dennis Prager

3.  Larry Elder

4.  Frank Gaffney

5.  Hugh Hewett

6. John Ransom

7. David Webb

8.  Rusty Humphries

9. Fingers Malloy

10.  Stephen K. Bannon

Honorable Mention: Wayne DuPreeBryan FischerJoe Messina and Michael HartCam Edwards, Mark Isler

And drum roll…

Top 15 Overall Hottest Conservative Supermen in America:

1.  AlfonZo Rachel  AlfonZo “Zo” Rachel has been a major force in the conservative movement, especially considering he’s on the Front Lines in California.  He began with his ‘brick wall rants’ and later became a star of PJTV.  In addition to being able to break down today’s issues in easy-to-understand, real-life ways, Zo is also one of the greatest all-around guys around.  (Photo of Zo by Marc Langsam)








2. Lt. Col. Allen West: Lt. Col. West has been fighting for America most of his life.  Even before he became a Congressman in Florida, he was working hard to enlighten people about the evils of Islam.  These days, Lt. Col. West has a show on PJTV called “Next Generation:  Standing Up for America”.  Of course, we’re all hoping he’ll get back into politics around, say, 2016…Stay tuned.

Col Allen West







3.  Bill Whittle: Bill Whittle currently has four must-see web shows:  Afterburner, Trifecta, Stratosphere Lounge and his latest, Mr. Virtual President.  Bill cuts through the clatter of today’s politics like nobody’s business, with a lightning-fast acerbic wit and a delivery that makes us wish he were the real president instead of just ‘virtual’.  Every time Bill Whittle speaks—every single time—you will learn something.








4.  Sean Hannity:  Sean Hannity is the “boy next door” of Fox News.  He’s the type of guy every girl wanted to date in high school, and/or the brother everyone wishes they had.  But just because he’s one of the nice guys doesn’t mean he’s a pushover or will ever allow the “PC Police” to rule his show.  In addition to the Sean Hannity Show, he also hosts a radio host, is a best-selling author, and did we mention we all think he’s really cute?








5.  Tucker Carlson:  Tucker Carlson is the co-creator and editor-in-chief of The Daily Caller.  He has been a Libertarian-leaning political commentator on CNN and MSNBC but we like him best for his work on Fox News.  Unafraid to face both the left and the right, Tucker is working hard to bring the Constitution back to the forefront of America.  Plus, Tucker’s one of the few men left on earth who can truly get away with wearing a bow tie.








6.  Greg Gutfeld:  Two things that every conservative woman loves in a man are intelligence and a sense of humor and Greg Gutfeld of “Redeye” and “The Five” has boatloads of both.  When it comes to shining the light on hypocrisy—from either side of the aisle—no one does it better than Gutfeld.  And his cute, smirky smile also reminds us of a young Bruce Willis, only with a cuter haircut.








7.  Brandon Michael Darby:  Brandon Darby first gained fame as an FBI informant, testifying in court about the conspiracy to bomb the 2008 GOP convention with homemade Molotov cocktails.  Andrew Breitbart discovered him, took him under his wing and these days Brandon Darby is one of’s most fearless investigative journalists.








8.  Rep. Louie Gohmert:  If you want a politician who truly cares about We the People, you’re not going to find one much better than Texas Congressman Louie Gohmert.  Representative Gohmert is as comfortable talking to a room full of deer hunters in an East Texas Dairy Queen as he is giving a speech in Washington.  He has stood up to Islam and never backs away from a fight, especially when it comes to defending conservative values and principles.  And yes, we think he is mighty handsome to boot.








9.  Andrew Wilkow:  Andrew Wilkow already had a huge following with his SeriusXM radio show when Glenn Beck discovered him.  Now, Andrew has a web TV show on called “Wilkow!” and like all our favorites, he is warrior-like in his fight against big government and political correctness.








10.  Neil Cavuto:  Every good Southern woman knows you can “catch more bees with honey than you can with vinegar”.  Neil Cavuto seems to understand this saying in spades because he is one of those rare men who can say something intensely biting and challenging but does so with a smile on his face and a twinkle in his eye that completely throws off his enemy.  We are, of course, big fans of this tactic.








11.  Gov. Rick Perry:  Okay, we admit he wasn’t the greatest presidential candidate.  But as governor of Texas, he’s doing pretty good job stealing big businesses away from tanking states like California, and his recent work for #Stand4Life has been phenomenal.  That and his movie star gorgeous looks absolutely helped get him our list.








12. Larry O’Connor:  Larry’s “former life” was in the theater business and he first hit the Conservative world writing for Breitbart under the pseudonym “Stage Right”.  These days, Larry is the Editor-in-Chief of and is one of our hottest radio hosts with his “Larry O’Connor Radio Show”.








13.  Andrew Klavan:  Andrew Klavan is one of our greatest satirists, possibly ever in the history of political satire. Klavan’s PJTV show “Klavan on the Culture” cuts to the chase with biting humor and undeniable, indisputable logic.  If anyone can rescue the culture from the grips of progressive ideology, Andrew Klavan can.








14.  Jamie Glazov:  Dr. Jamie Glazov is Frontpage Magazine’s Editor-in-Chief, a best-selling author and is the host of the web TV show “The Glazov Gang”.  Like all the men on our list, Jamie is a combination of smart, funny and fearless—and despite his strange Canadian accent, we also think he’s pretty cute.








15.  Sen. Ted Cruz: Texas Senator Ted Cruz has been outstanding in his fight for all-things-conservative.  He has been consistently strong about Benghazi, immigration and basically everything all of us are fighting for.







Honorable Mention: Rusty Humphries, Nick Searcy, Mark Steyn, Larry Elder, Adam Baldwin, Tim Donnelly

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Ann-Marie Murrell

Ann-Marie Murrell is the original PolitiChick anchor and is the CEO/Editor-in-Chief of, which was nominated at CPAC 2013 as the “People’s Choice Blogger of the Year”. In 2013, Ann-Marie received Front Page Magazine’s Glazov Gang Ronald Reagan Award. Ann-Marie writes for dozens of respected Conservative websites including TownHall, Daily Caller, Front Page Magazine, The Blaze and more. Ann-Marie is often a guest speaker at rallies across the US and is a frequent guest on radio and TV shows, including a 2013 appearance on the Dr. Phil Show in which she represented the conservative viewpoint. She has been featured on dozens of radio and television shows, including Fox News, BlazeTV, the Dennis Prager Show, the Janine Turner Show and she is a regular commentator and guest host on One America’s Rick Amato Show, Front Page Magazine’s Glazov Gang and the Mark Isler Show on 870/The Answer. Ann-Marie is one of the go-to conservative reporters in Los Angeles and has covered multiple political events throughout the United States. Ann-Marie has conducted hundreds of interviews with conservative leaders including Congresswoman Michele Bachmann, Lt. Col. Allen West, Dr. Ben Carson, and she was one of the last reporters to interview the late Andrew Breitbart. Ann-Marie speaks at various Conservative rallies and 2nd Amendment events across the country, from California to Texas and many cities in between, and was the exclusive reporter for the David Horowitz Freedom Center West Coast retreat. You can find Ann-Marie Murrell on Facebook and Twitter (@PolitichickAM). (@PolitichickAM).

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  1. Lainie Sloane, CA PolitiChick says:


  2. Pam113080 says:

    Shepherd Smith??? Are you kidding me??? He’s no Conservative ..

  3. 7loubro_4 says:

    I will really be glad when you get something to do in your spare time. Don’t let yourself get bored!!! (laughing of course. You still amaze me and I love you seriously.)

  4. Rob Hart says:

    Wow! What a lineup!!

  5. ohthehugemanatee says:

    I disagree with many on your list. If Shemp Smith is Conservative, then I am Queen of England. Most of them are at best RINOs

  6. moron says:

    So where is John McCain? Just kidding.

  7. Denny says:

    self-depricating? It should be self-deprecating

  8. saturngirl says:

    Boo. A hot list without Steve Hayes, is not a hot list.

  9. Marnes says:

    How can you have any list without Bret Baier?

  10. like I CM says:

    Kept looking for Christie…couldn’t find him

  11. Barb S says:

    why not Charles Krauthammer???

  12. like I CM says:

    Shepherd Smith? Just because he’s on Fox? What about Geraldo Rivera then :/

  13. Tony Hubble says:

    How did they miss me?

  14. joethefatman says:

    Sheep Dip is as conservative as Nancy “Pass it to see what’s in it” Pelosi.

  15. Fking51 says:

    Hey, what about Mark Steyn?

  16. Bonnie_ says:

    What fun! Great selections, great commentary, and a great way to remind me that “our” side has the greatest men in the world.

  17. Don Lovell says:

    There is no one on the list that tops Mark Levin, particularly when understanding the constitution is involved, which is the document that started the whole “freedom” thing.

    Shep Smith makes me want to vomit, Conservative No freaking way.

  18. Edward Lozano says:

    Thank you ladies for introducing to a couple of new sources of conservative information….

  19. MK Elston says:

    I don’t agree with all of them, but you sure got Zo and the PJTV guys right. Wilkow, too.

  20. Sammy says:

    As others have aid, Smith doesn’t belong on the list for ideological reasons..

  21. wGraves says:

    It’s no surprise that Fox is well represented. On the other side, the female eye-candy there doesn’t need to be certified by ‘politichicks.’ Indeed, there are a number of actual beauty pageant winners manning (sic) the anchor chair over there. On the other hand, not complaining a bit.

  22. Patricia Taylor says:

    quick question. Is Shep actually a conservative? I’m on the fence about that one.

  23. Wendy Wagner says:

    Where is Herman Cain?! I thought he should be right on top of the list.
    You know he is sexy. Just look at all of his “affairs”.
    That man broke a lotta hearts in 07.

  24. jade says:

    glad to see Allen West in this list

  25. Although I love AlfonZoRachel, I’d still move him down one, switch him and Col. Allen West and put Rush Limbaugh at the top of the list. He is the Superman of the Conservative movement that has given us a nonstop voice for 25 years. THAT’S SUPER! It has been through HIS efforts and leadership, HIS door opening that these others — Hannity, Beck, and, yes, Rachel, have had the opportunity to do what they have. Rush Limbaugh is the way-paver and example-setter. That makes Rush Limbaugh the SUPEREST of the Supermen!
    As to the inclusion of Shepherd Smith? Really? Not for a LONG time has he been Conservative. Shock & awe, yes, but not since then. Who made that egregiously wrong call?

    • Strepsi says:

      This list is for hottest. But then, if you’re happily picturing an oxycontin-addled walrus sweating on top of you and bellowing in your face as he nails you, then I guess so.

      • psychomom says:

        Rush Limbaugh is one of the sexiest men I’ve ever seen.

      • I don’t imagine ANY of these men nailing me (to use your word). As a woman who has been happily married for 35.5 yrs, I don’t need that sort of image. I consider their “hotness” and their standing as “Supermen” to be what they have done for the Conservative movement, what they do with their minds (as well as how they educate me regarding Conservative ideologies and traditions), and whether they have stood for Conservatism over the years. For those standards (MY standards), I put Rush at the top.
        For you to go where you went sounds to me as though you’re the one imagining Rush “as he nails you.” That’s your problem, not mine.

        • Strepsi says:

          That’s not what “hot” means. Read the criteria of the list itself: “exudes sexiness”. Now do you see why Rush isn’t on it?
          Although come to think of it, the list they did choose generally exudes all the sexiness of a tax audit.

          • So YOUR definition of “Hot” must supersede mine? This IS the comment section, is it not? Am I not allowed to comment on the rankings without having to answer to a man’s definition of what a “hot” man is?
            Getting creepy.

  26. Steve says:

    To hell with the men, the judges here are what’s hot!

  27. Angi Bryan says:

    I’m sad.. how could you forget my all time favorite.. Joe Dan Gorman.. Not only does he stand for God and Country ..but he’s funny and enlightened and a total HUNK. He’s the whole enchilada.

  28. Gradivus says:

    I wish Tucker Carlson still wore bow ties – but I haven’t seen him in one on TV in years.

  29. schizuki says:

    “…the conspiracy to bomb the 2008 GOP convention with homemade Molotov
    cocktails…” Y’know, homemade Molotov cocktails just have a certain something you can’t get from your factory-made, store-bought Molotov cocktails.

  30. middleagedhousewife says:

    Mike Rowe. nuf sed.

  31. Ava says:

    Anyone else love Bobby Jindal (governor of Louisiana)? He’s so underrated and overlooked. I’m Canadian and he’s definitely on my radar. Glad to see Benjamin Shapiro on this list as well. Love seeing him on Sun News Network (aka Fox News North).

    I’ll definitely have to add some of these guys to my must-watch list for Conservative news and discussion. Thank you!

    • Strepsi says:

      That’s because the foxy white ladies who made this list love some taboo hot blackness, but they ain’t down with brown. And they will NEVER admit it, but they would all do Obama in an instant.

      • Ava says:

        I don’t think any of the women would deny that Obama is handsome. I think he is, on a purely superficial level. But once he opens his mouth, he turns very ugly in my eyes.

        This list is not ONLY about looks. It’s about the whole package. A man’s personality, values, humor and morals will always make him attractive or unattractive to me. Who cares if a man is good-looking if we can’t carry on a proper conversation?

  32. scragsma says:

    I object. Where’s the best of all? RICK SANTORUM!!

    Still, I’m glad you got Bill W, Scott O, Steve G, Andrew K, and Zo in there. They’re the best.

  33. avagee says:

    I know he’s a fiction writer, but what about Brad Thor? How could he not be on one of these lists?

  34. JDMedia says:

    Thanks for the honorable mention. I am honored. :)
    I have you ladies in the new Froglegs.

  35. Discipulus says:

    Good list, with one exception. Shep Smith is NOT conservative.

  36. monica mimier says:

    If you didn’t make the ‘list’ , don’t feel bad,guys! ‘Beauty’ is subjective!

  37. Greg Halvorson says:

    Shepperd Smith??? …. MEGA-FAIL!!!

  38. Stephanie says:

    Question: Where are Vince Flynn and Brad Thor in the Author’s list? Granted we just lost Vince but he doesn’t get a mention? The man was amazing. And Brad? He’s right up there..come on girls….we can do better…lots better.

    • preepree says:

      @Stephanie I agree – Vince Flynn, Brad Thor, Dalton Fury and Ben Coes should be on the authors list.

  39. Heather_A says:

    Needs Gary Sinise. How can you not include Gary “Lt. Dan” Sinise?! *pout* I’d say Dean Cain too, but let’s just start with Lt. Dan. :p


  40. David J. Guyton says:

    Whaaaaaat? I didn’t make the list…AGAIN??

  41. Bill says:

    The top 15 list is RAAAAAAACISSSTTTTTTTT!!

    Bill Whittle

  42. George Pepper says:

    There must not be ten conservative music bloggers.

  43. TheProudDuck says:

    Admit that you only included James Patrick Riley on the list because he threatened to put you in the pillory at his living history farm if you didn’t.

  44. disqus_LASIg6epmj says:

    I don’t think Shep Smith is conservative. I could be wrong, but I thought he was a registered Democrat. And Zo rocks! Literally. :)

  45. xbox361 says:

    C’mon, where Jeffy from the Glenn Beck show?

  46. Cindy says:

    Shepherd Smith is totally NOT conservative. And I looked for Steven Hayes (WSJ) on here but didn’t see his name. He sure should be imo.

  47. Colette Moran says:

    Forgot James Pethokoukis, aka Jimmy P. Keep in mind next time…

  48. shenanniganist says:

    The only thing that I think was lacking was an honorary position for the late Mr. Breitbart. Not to be a buzzkillington but perhaps a “torch bearer of the year that combines presentation and information”.

  49. Frank Nelson says:

    No Justin Amash?

  50. Molly says:

    A couple of major omissions here are Peter Robinson (new media, Hoover Inst.) and Victor Davis Hanson (conservative author).

  51. Sarita Perl says:

    Love the list…especially the guys on PJTV…love’em all!
    If you ever do a “Best kept secret-top 10″
    …can I nominate (YouTube) Wild Bill for America?
    PS–Shep Smith–really????

  52. S. D. Coburn says:

    Zo is totally hot! <3

  53. Tina Renee Walls Moody says:

    Love, love, love the list. Not only did some of my favorites make your list … I got some info on some great guys I didn’t know much about. Was happy to see Adam Baldwin on the honorable mention list … one of my favorite actors for years. Who knew he was a conservative? I didn’t. Thanks :)

  54. lesstressrx says:

    If you love Allen West we have a Facebook page Colonel Allen West A Constitutional Conservative Leader For America. It keeps news updated on Col. West. If you are a Constitutional Fiscally Conservative American go to the site and like. You will then receive postings on this Facebook page. Add to your notifications to make sure you get all the up to date news news

  55. Mary kay Bachman says:

    Love the choices ladies, great job. And thank you for including our own Tim Donnelly, he earned the spot!

  56. laneycath says:

    Rush Limbaugh??????????????????????? At least you could mention William Trachman over at RedRacingHorses ….but not In the same sentence as Rush Limbaugh

  57. jackjolis says:

    Shep Smith as on of the “Top Ten Hottest Conservative Supermen on TV”????

    Leaving aside the fact that he’s a goggle-eyed poofter… he’s a RAVING LIBERAL.

    (Not to mention you misspelled his name — it’s Shepard, not “Shepherd” — do you girls even have the first clue what you’re doing, here?)

  58. Dee says:

    As with so many other commenters I have a few inclusions, i.e. Steve Hayes, Charles Krauthammer, Brit Hume and Bret Baier. And I strongly question your inclusion of Shepard Smith. Really, Shep? A conservative? Anyway, I like the list in general. If only we could get all of these “Supermen” in one room, maybe they could brainstorm a way for some real change in our country.

  59. JFrary says:

    I’m feeling a little bitter about the lack of a “Hottest Septuagenarian Conservative Men Who Torture Their Bathroom Scales” category. I sujppose I’ll get over it, but it’s going to take some time.

  60. tessaprn says:

    Shepard Smith is not Conservative! Ok guy but he’s liberal to the core!

  61. Earl of Effingham says:

    What about Congressman Aaron Schock? I don’t know much about him but he is a good looking guy, as far as this straight man can judge…

    • icapricorn says:

      Schock is porn-star cute and has seriously chosen the wrong profession. Paul Ryan has a goofy charm and abs that command respect from any man. Rand Paul, like his father in his younger days, has a boyish appeal. Rick Perry, also hot (and being dumb never hurts.). Their politics are not mine, but as long as you’ve opened the subject, good looking knows no nationality, sex or political affiliation. But really this list belongs on the Onion.

  62. Kelly says:

    You totally missed the boat on radio. Matt Walsh should be numbers 1 through 5.

  63. Elseebee says:

    Sent this list to my hubby and my conservative male friends- thought they should see what the competition looks like!

  64. Jack_Reacher says:

    Shepherd Smith is a repressed, under-the-table gay activist that I doubt anyone would want to have dated nor have as a brother, based on his smarmy, egotistical attitude.

    Shepherd comes on, TV set goes off for 1 hour.

  65. kochrepellent says:

    Louie Gohmert? Get real. You can’t leave him off the Hillbilly Top 20, but hot he’s not.

  66. simi says:

    Love them all!! (even Shepherd Smith, who is NOT conservative)

  67. huh says:

    hahahahahahahahahahaha ha

  68. Applebobber says:

    No no no no no!

    You guys are the PolitiChicks. Large pictures of your beautiful faces are included in this article. And you give us this politically correct list?!?!

    Ditch the first four criteria and show is some real RED meat!

  69. What an absolutely waste of time and mockery of righteousness:

    “But Yahweh said to Samuel, ‘Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but Yahweh looks at the heart.’” (1 Samuel 16:7-8) and so should we.

    Ladies, you’re better than this, even if it is just for fun!

    • icapricorn says:

      Well, women, what did you expect? This is a Republican rah-rah site. Bibles will be pounded and flags will be waved. And somebody will preach at you that you’re being an American wrong.

  70. Marconi says:

    Gohmert and the Daily Tucker? That’s when we know they are f%^!@Ing with us

  71. Marconi says:

    Wait, where is Marcus Bachmann?

  72. blair152 says:

    I totally agree.

  73. EdinNJ says:

    No Zombie Breitbart? That rotting corpse has to be at least tied with Louie Grosmert.

  74. Sebastian says:

    Left off Kevin Jackson of The Black Sphere

  75. Ray says:

    This is a joke, right? What next, the best-looking mustaches inside a ’45 Berlin bunker? Nobody outside the bubble thinks conservatives, esp. conservative men, are attractive, okay?

  76. wclardy says:

    No mention of George Will?

  77. Strepsi says:

    “Two things that every conservative woman loves in a man are intelligence and a sense of humor” — Given your list, I think you meant to say “Two things that every conservative woman loves in a man are a a persecution complex and a free-floating rage”.

    But hey, if having a nutjob like Allan West or Louie Gohmert hate-f*** you turns your crank, go for it!

  78. Julie Mauck says:

    Great list! But….. wha…?!! ….Not even an honorable mention for Kevin Jackson of the Blacksphere?! I cry foul! You need to check him out – he’s on fire!

  79. axonneuron says:

    God that was hilarious!! I lol’d right here at my desk. Thanks for posting that.

  80. Trent says:

    No accounting for taste I guess

  81. Rickster Rickster says:

    I hope dc comics sues you over using the superman picture

  82. tpartynitwit says:

    What, no Mathew Boyle?

  83. john says:

    No, I agree that Hugh Hewitt, Jonah Goldberg, and their ilk actually are among the hottest me on the right. Wow, must suck to be a Conservative…

  84. john says:

    Wait, you mean Ann Coulter isn’t a man, or do you mean that Ann Coulter isn’t a hot man?

  85. JoePragmatist says:

    BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Oh, man, that was a knee slapper. This is some high quality satire right here. Seriously, The Onion needs to watch its back.

  86. Concerned Optician says:

    Should’ve gone to Specsavers

  87. MumphreyYamm says:

    I can’t tell if this is for real or not. I truly hope this is a joke. It makes my soul hurt to think that anybody could find (oh, where to begin?) Rush Limbaugh, Looey Göehmert, Mark Levin, Glenn Beck or Steve King anything less than sickening (I don’t even want to guess how a guy would earn the nickname like “Fingers”, though I can only assume it would begin in a crowded subway car and end with a mugshot). I mean, come on, Looey Göehmert? Looey looks like a dickhead; he looks like he has an actual dick for a head.
    I can’t think of any way you could make this collection any worse, at least no way short of listing dead bodies like Ronald Reagan, Joseph McCarthy, Jesse Helms or Strom Thurmond; well, that or putting actual nazis on your list.

  88. Tbone says:

    Man, no wonder the Onion is ceasing publication. No one – no one, not even George Carlin, could write satire like this. It’s simply impossible to satirize conservatives anymore.

  89. Penny_Worth says:

    Yahoo! You mentioned Rand Paul! I happen to be a libertarian leaning Conservative, and it was nice to see Rand on your list. IMHO, as a Floridian, I think he deserves the spot as much as, if not more so, than Allen West. The Bill of Rights should not be obliterated in the name of security, as Ben Franklin said: “He who trades essential liberty for temporal security deserves neither.” I would only add, “and will soon have neither.”

  90. mellowjohn says:

    no charles krauthammer? no eric ericson?

  91. marineh2ominer says:

    Shepard Smith NO , where was Walter Williams on your many lists ? He is VERY worthy .

  92. talbertwv says:

    I thought Dennis Miller might make your list.

  93. Lola says:

    Eric Metaxas is spelled wrong

  94. Abigail Adams says:

    I love the lists; excellent and insightful. HOWEVER—- our friend and hero JAMES O’KEEFE must be included. If ever there was a Superhero, James is that man. He is brave and fearless. Armed with nothing more lethal than a paperclip and a cell phone, he takes on ppl at the very top and exposes them to the world with reckless abandon. James has my vote and my devotion.

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